Fight, fight, fight! Blogfest


It’s my first blogfest, but I thought I’d give it a chance. Fight (or battle) scenes are not my strength, but here’s a duel from my novel “Air” (so if you’re a beta-reader, skip this post to avoid spoilers! ;-)). And no, it’s not India, although it’s inspired by India and Persia! 🙂

The rest of the blogfest is at JC Martin’s blog – the code doesn’t work on WordPress, so just follow the link to her blog for more entries! Happy reading!


THE CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD

The stone bed was hard and the blade of the scimitar cold. Kumar drifted back to reality from an unusually peaceful sleep. In spite of the stone bed, he slept better in that little forgotten temple than in Rajendra Royal Palace. But it wasn’t comfortable enough to stay in bed all day either.

Elephant calls in the air, but not Maya’s. Kumar dressed quickly. Either the king of Lakeshi (or his arrogant son) was visiting, or someone more dangerous had just arrived.

The temple was empty, therefore whoever was waiting outside hadn’t come to pray. Kumar picked up the scimitar. He moved silently to the temple door to peer outside and cursed under his breath.

Rajendra’s guards. They had found him. It was really time to leave the southern kingdoms forever.

He took a deep breath and stepped into the light of day.

“Good morning,” Naveen was standing in front of the temple porch, his arms folded on his chest. “I will not violate a temple, but sooner or later you will have to come out, and I’ll catch you.”

“Don’t you have anything better to do at Argantael?” he retorted.

“Lots of things, actually, but I cannot go back without you.”

“Tell your king his wretched son-in-law is dead. I swear you’ll never hear my name again.”

“I considered this option when you escaped from Jevina,” Naveen admitted. “But I will not be your messenger. Besides, Princess Indira wants you back alive.”

“So what do you want, a duel to the death?” Kumar whirled the scimitar once, threateningly. “I don’t think Indira would appreciate it, though.”

“Why don’t you just come with me?” Naveen started to lose his patience. “You can settle the matter with your wife back in Rajendra.”

“I’m not going back!” Kumar hissed.

“Don’t make me do things we’ll both regret,” Naveen turned his attention to the other two guards, who were keeping Maya at weapon’s distance.

She was standing between two males, subjugated by the matriarch of the king’s herd, who had reminded her she was just a female without family.

“Why don’t you fight instead!” Kumar exclaimed, feeling the Fury mounting fast.

“I’m the captain of Rajendra’s Royal Guard, and you have become a member of that same Royal Family I have sworn to defend, even from your very own self,” Naveen replied.

Kumar had slipped his wedding ring onto a piece of string around his neck. He now ripped this off and threw it at Naveen.

“I’m not a prince anymore, now fight!” he challenged.

“Only my king can strip you of your rank.”

“I will not follow you, how will you force me?”

“We are three against one, if we have to, we’ll take you back tied up like a criminal, but we will not hurt you.”

“Son of a bitch!” Kumar lost his patience. He attacked the captain who unsheathed his blade to fend off the first blow. The duel was inevitable: both men were too angry to talk anymore.

Jesminder had run to call Takeshi and Sarita, and now the whole village poured into the clearing, forming a circle around the duelists. They had seen the tiger hunter, now they were introduced to a trained warrior who could fight a royal guard of the neighboring kingdom.

Blades clanked, filling the forest with metallic sounds. Kumar left his flank unprotected only to cut Naveen’s arm: the bone stopped the blow, but the captain lost his grip on his scimitar with a scream of pain; he tried to stop the blood as his knees failed him and he found himself kneeling on the grass.

“Captain!” Mohan exclaimed. Impulsively he charged Kumar before Anupam could stop him and hit the bloodied scimitar with a loud clang.

Kumar let it go. Unbelievably fast, he undid his noose and jumped behind Mohan who was still trying to stab him and wrapped the silk around his neck, pulling hard. Mohan collapsed with a death-rattle just as the knife appeared in Kumar’s hand, ready to be thrown. Kumar glared at Anupam, ready to kill again, slowly reaching for his scimitar.

Anupam raised his hands and didn’t move, as Naveen stared breathless at Mohan’s lifeless body. Kumar put away the knife and coldly took back his silken noose, then put the tip of his scimitar to Naveen’s throat.

“Now you go back to Argantael and leave me alone,” he hissed. “Or I’ll kill all of you, or die trying.”

Naveen nodded, and Kumar pulled back. Sarita and Suneethi rushed to look after the wounded captain while Kumar stared around angrily. He walked towards the village and the small crowd silently opened to let his bloodied weapon pass.

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6 Comments

  1. That was great! A wonderful first-ever blogfest entry! I had to get used to the names (Takeshi? Isn’t that Japanese?), but I was soon so engrossed in the fight it didn’t really confuse me any more! It’s slightly heavy with the adjectives, and no, I’m not one of those who think all adjectives should be banned, but “stared around angrily” could be better replaced by something like “glared around”, methinks. Similarly, “slowly reaching for his scimitar” could become something like “his fingers inching towards his scimitar”. Just my 2 pence. 🙂

    Thanks for joining my blogfest! I hope you had fun! 🙂

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    • you are totally right! see when one writes not in her mother tongue? Thanks for the suggestions! 😀

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  2. I think this was a great battle scene! I mean, there isn’t too much technical detail, so it doesn’t get dull, but there’s enough to make it pulse with action as well as emotion!

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    • I love swords (and scimitars and the likes), but I’m not that an expert on fencing techniques… 😉
      Thanks for the comment! 🙂

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  3. You had me at “scimitar”. 🙂

    Love the hook. It ends with everyone knowing Kumar is the MAN.

    Thanks for sharing with us.

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    • eeeh, we have a novelist called Emilio Salgari who wrote books set in India and Malaysia and his chief pirate, Sandokan, had a scimitar… drool! I should have posted also the illustration I did for this scene! 😉

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