Happiness is…


Happiness is…


… and “my” version of it

Happiness is…

Writer Wednesday

I’m offline, so I’m leaving this for you. In 20 days I’ll be 50, I thought I’d share some wisdom with you. Based lousely on this blog post.

50 things I know at 50 (that I didn’t know at 25)

1. There are no “speshul snowflakes”. We’re all the same but different.

2. What you sow, you reap – don’t to to others what you don’t want done to you.

3. Nobody should tell you how to live your life. Just do it – follow your heart.

4. Don’t try to fulfill someone else’s dream. Dream your own and dream big.

5. Be your special self, always. Changing to please others won’t help – neither you nor them.

6. Don’t bother about what other people think about you. What makes you think they’re thinking about you anyway?

7. Don’t be too hot-headed. Count to ten or wait until the morning after before calling or hitting “send”.

8. Friends will be friends forever. Real friends are not fleeting online presences. But the can be on the other side of the world and still be friends. Even if you never met in person.

9. We meet whomever we’re supposed to meet in this life – whether it’s a lesson or just a passing blessing.

10. You are complete. Don’t look for someone to complete you.

11. Don’t let the world drain you. Spend time with those who love and understand you.

12. Speak for yourself. Not for everybody else.

13. Be original. Be yourself. Mastering everything is a certain way not to succeed in anything.

14. Love yourself – body and mind. If you think you’re ugly, the world will see you as ugly. Think of yourself of beautiful and healthy instead.

15. Life is colorful – try not to be color-blind!

16. Only you can take care of yourself.

17. Life is under no obligation to give you what you expect.

18. Don’t try to change the world, or it will change you.

19. Don’t try to fit in at all costs – who is trying to fit in with you? Nobody? Exactly.

20. Be yourself. And remember – you’re great!

21. Happiness is… little things, really. Stop trying to look at the big picture and concentrate on the details.

22. Daydreaming is all right. Follow your heart.

23. You don’t have to give in to peers pressure. Seriously.

24. Nobody should force you to get married, get pregnant, have sex, do things that you don’t feel like doing but you think you must do because everybody else says so.

25. You are who you are, not what you have. And your material possessions won’t follow you anyway in your next life…

26. If you don’t love yourself, nobody else will. Be your own fan.

27. Don’t forget to tell yourself how great you are. If you don’t, nobody else will.

28. Oh, and, by the way, if you’re a woman – there’s no Happily Ever After. Fairy tales are just that – tales!

29. Stop looking for a non-existent Prince Charming right now – love is something else!

30. Passions burn out. Hormones go to sleep. You will settle! 🙂

31. Focus your attention on what you want and it will reflect in the outside world. If you think that the world is an ugly, dangerous, unfair disgusting place, that’s what you’ll see. If you believe that the world is a magical and beautiful place full of love, sharing, kindness and beauty, it will be for you.

32. Reprogram yourself to be what you want to be, not what society expects you to be. You can be beautiful and healthy by simply knowing that you are. Don’t think you are, know you are.

33. What you focus on has a powerful effect on how you perceive the world and you are perceived by others. If you wallow in self-pity, you’ll be seen as a whiny person.

34. Just be happy – happiness is… little things, really, and I’ve already said that – and your happiness will come through and attract similar-minded people.

35. Friends will be friends, but when money is involved, they become frenemies and sometimes real foes. Put it all in writing – verba volant, scripta manent!

36. You are unique and you should find your own solutions to your problems – or allow your soul to find them for you. No need to listen to confusing advice from other people, what worked for them might now work for you.

37. Like is change, so your body will change, you mindset will change and there’s nothing wrong about it. Those physical sicknesses are sometimes created by your soul preparing you a big surprise.

38. Accept life’s surprises and don’t try to keep the balance at all costs. In this duality world there’s no balance and everything is constantly in movement.

39. Don’t fight it, and you’ll feel much better. Just let go.

40. Forgive and forget. Life is too short to live it with grudges and hatred. Move on.

41. Don’t live in fear. You will lose your material possessions, so no need to cling to them. You will lose your life eventually, so no need to hide in a cocoon for fear of losing it.

42. We are all different, so fearing the difference means you’ll never be able to enjoy life.

43. There is no status quo. Learn to follow your own way and choose your goals wisely. You might have to adjust and experiment, and you will certainly fall, but just get back on your feet and keep going.

44. Find your light in the night and follow it – try not to stray too much from your chosen path.

45. You have your own beauty and it’s unique to you. In the words of someone who is much more famous than me and has 15million fans, treasure your own beauty.

46. Pay it forward. Whatever you learn, share it – but don’t preach. Some people don’t want to hear it. If they ask, answer, if not, mind your own business! 🙂

47. Don’t worry, be happy. And being alone is fine, really.

48. There is no one-size-fits-all way of live. Carve your own.

49. Define your idea of success and stick to it – not to whatever everybody else says about success.

50.And don’t forget to say thank you. for the good and the bad.

Now I’m going to add my signature to an introvert’s open letter to extroverts. Feel free to ignore me for the time being! 😀

Random Friday

For Viv, who is worried for Lua (and so I  am) – let’s not forget she’s Turkish! I hope she’s fine with everything going on in her country. If you want to help (especially if you’re American), please check this blog posted on Facebook by another Turkish friend of mine.

And thanks Rory for the reflection on why animals get it better than us. Like Agent Smith said “Human beings are a disease”. Let’s hope we stop doing what we’re doing – mostly hating each other and ourselves for what? Money? Religion? True we often hurt our own selves, for some unknown reason. Well, it’s peer pressure, mostly. So here’s to a future without pain and hatred, filled with love an happiness.

My two weeks off are almost over. Didn’t travel (didn’t feel like), stayed mostly at home since the dreaded heat is here (and no, thank you, no seaside for me). I’ve completed the lettering of Fleur de Lys 2 and the first part of Amazon Sisters on Tuesday, so I took a break drawing Da Muse since he’s in both (as Dominique in the comic book and as Selene’s last man in Amazon Sisters). Take a look at my favorite deviation! 🙂

WordPress has changed the dashboard slightly, but it’s still pretty easy. All those changes in those 3 years (going on 4)… sigh! It’s still good at catching spam – unlike Gmail who let through an email from IQelite. An invitation from an unknown person (initials only, so it qualifies as spam to me) to join this social network for high IQs… well, first of all, I don’t think my IQ is that good, and second I’M NOT LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND/LIFE PARTNER WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT, OKAY? I’m single and I love it, so stop bothering! I’ve had enough of those dating sites some ten years ago!

Sorry, I doubt screaming it would help, but then, we’re talking about that human thing again. What’s good for you is not necessarily good for me. I’m not a family person anymore. I’m vehement about voluntary human extinction. I’m a hermit, I enjoy staying at home on my own. People tire me. What do I care of finding “someone”? I stopped believing in Prince Charming a long time ago. And since I’m a fantasy writer  (mostly), I’d rather believe in love at first sight – which most certainly will never happen online where you can’t see or feel each other…

So, no thanks. I might have a family in the common sense of the term in my next life. In this life, I’m content with Mr Writing and my babies. And again, after many years, I love that John Keats poem and fear it might come true – the first two verses struck me in my teens, and that’s the only poem I remember from high school (along with a couple of sonnets).

John Keats. 1795–1821
635. When I have Fears that I may cease to be
WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,
Before high pil`d books, in charact’ry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen’d grain;
When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,          5
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And feel that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!
That I shall never look upon thee more,   10
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore
  Of the wide world I stand alone, and think,
  Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

C.S.Splitter is gone. He was even a guest here, and I wasn’t aware he was sick. So, since I’ll never know when my time will come, I better live my life how I want. Two weeks following my biorhythms – getting up, going for a walk while it’s still fresh, and then working all day, alternating writing, reading and drawing. Heaven on earth for me, total boredom for you? Sorry, I’m not saying this is the recipe for a happy life, it’s only what works for me! 😉

Have a wonderful weekend!

Random Friday

Because today I’m in Torino stalk… ehm, assisting Terry Moore with his Italian fans, I scheduled this post – yes, that’s how us Virgo work. My friend Fulvio calls me “control freak”, but when you get a discount on train tickets (69euro instead of 90, 39 instead of 45) because you buy them 1 month in advance, it’s not “control freak”, it’s savvy “early booker”! 🙂

Anyway, last week an elder woman (dunno her age, but definitely menopause…) wanted to give me her seat on the bus. First of all, the bus wasn’t full. Second, I had taken it only for two stops because the spring “heat” made me not feel like walking (which I normally would have if it were winter). So I politely said “no thank you” with a smile and saw she kept staring at me with a worried look. So I pushed the button to get off, and even if I was considering getting off at the third stop, I got off at the second at that point.

Why, you wonder? Well, it’s spring and more tight fitting clothes and probably the way I was carrying myself… It was after lunch, and after eating I tend to have a nice belly bump the old lady probably mistook as “baby” bump! ARGH!!! I wondered if I was carrying myself like a pregnant woman, but I was just standing on the bus, what gave her that idea?!?!?!

The past two summers customers kept asking me if I was pregnant – the way I sit at DayJob obviously confuses them. I’m slim, look 10 or 15 years younger, but being nearly 50, my body shape changed, and I get that stupid belly bump which makes everybody think I’m pregnant. Excuse me? What’s with the breeding fever?

To avoid controversy, I just smile and shrug and say “thanks but no thanks” or something. But it’s getting tiring and I really really really look forward to menopause when I’ll be able to tell them “I have menopause, so stop asking, you …”. Nosy people really get on my nerves. But then, I hate compliments, especially on appearance.

OK, I guess I’m ready to get out of this material world! 🙂 I really don’t see the point of being so attached to material things or the need to continue what is obviously a flawed breed. Let’s toast to the end of the world as we know it, LOL! 🙂

Now Happy Fangirl Barb goes back to work… oh, yeah, it’s scheduled, so I’m already working! Maybe not, maybe I’m just coming out of Fulvio’s house to get to the Comicon. Anyway, I wish you a wonderful weekend, and if the Sunday Excerpts doesn’t come out… it’s because I forgot to schedule it before jumping on that train! 😉

Random Friday

OK, another week is almost done, what can I say? I might be very self-centered this week, but even if I’m starting from my writing, I’m rambling about life at large. So, it’s about CVE3 again (can you tell I’m having a blast at rewriting something that is 20+years old?) – I got to the part at the end when the warrior woman has to choose between two men and I remembered what happened back then.

I saw a shrink from 1996 to 2002. Four years single therapy, four years group therapy, with two years (1998-1999) of both. When I was still doing the single, I gave him some of my stories to read – a graphic novel (The Prince and The Adventurer, I’ll reissue it sometime, but I need to scan and re-letter it) and CVE3, at the time known as Lost & Oliver from the names of the two main characters (I even have a L&O Another Version where they end up together, but I’m not going to publish that, LOL!).

At the time I was still the warrior woman, and he guessed who I was in that novel. And then he asked “Why did you choose X instead of Y?” (he was talking about the characters, no names to avoid spoilers, but he knew whom I identified with).

And I said “Why should I choose Y?”

“Because he’s the most powerful, the one who could have protected you.”

“That’s what I don’t like about him. I want him to be my equal, not superior. X is my equal, Y is not.”

Might be why I’m still single and I’m not too fond of those mushy romances with women swooning at alpha males? 😉

Anyway, I think he used the totally wrong therapy with me, because by the time I told him “I’ll be back when I have news” I was so sick of couples that even in my head I thought I could live without virtual lovers.

I went to him because I couldn’t understand the rest of the world. He understood it as “I’m unhappy because I don’t have a man” or something like that. But when one can’t interact with neither sexes, how can she find her significant other? And if you throw me into a group of abandoned lovers, how do you think I’ll feel?

the Muse's latest portrait

Dejected and disgusted by that fairy tale of the happily ever after, of course. I already knew Prince Charming didn’t exist, he just gave me the proof. So I stopped seeing him, and didn’t bother fitting in anymore – why bother when nobody was trying to fit in with me?

Now I have a spiritual teacher, but it’s not really improving my social interactions, I’m afraid. OK, I get less stressed and don’t try to understand why anymore, but I still don’t have much social interaction. I’ve been faithful to my virtual lover since 2001 (I call him my Muse, in case you were wondering…) while back in the 1990s – well that warrior woman had more than one man, because I liked them so much I needed to (virtually) try them all, LOL!

I’d rather stay in and write or draw than go out and socialize. “No life, no wife” so often repeated by Desi people (yeah, even the ones in Roma selling roses in the street! ;-)) makes me want to tell them “Speak for yourself, man! I’m a woman, I can live without a husband!”. I used to be so excited at weddings, now I snort or sigh and recycle the dress I wore at my brother’s wedding – also because I’ve seen many of those marriages fall apart through the years.

So there you have it, the rant about being single and VHEMT (hadn’t said that in a long time, LOL! Hema might remember I said it oh so long ago – haven’t changed my mind in that department! ;-)) you weren’t expecting! 😉 Now this compulsive writer is going back to writing… addiction or not, I better feed it. Mr Writing will pay my next hairdresser trip, but not much more yet! 😉

Daily prompts

Random post!

Topic #254: I’d share a cave or a fox hole or any other post-apocalyptic place (if we really have to get to that – and assuming we survive it) with my muse, of course. Except to end up somewhere with him we probably should live closer by the time everything happens! 😉 And as I hate L.A., I can settle on a place midway – New York. So, Keanu, send me your New York address so I can move close by, just in case! 😀

Topic #253: I procrastinate by doing something else. I’m creative in many fields, so if I have to finish a drawing I’ll write, if I have to finish a story, I’ll draw. If I had to read I’ll watch a movie, if I have to watch some of the DVD pile, I’ll find something else to do… you get the idea! Housework? I pay a lady, so I don’t have to do it ever, mwahahaha!!! And I do iron when my chest is full… or the wardrobe empty! 😉

Topic #252: I won’t do it, because I don’t like guns. Now, if it were a sword… Nah, I hate first person narration, so I’ll pass, thank you! 🙂

Topic #251: I think there’s a little of both. We have a pre-determined path with few options to get where we’re supposed to go. So we might be smart or lucky and find the shortest way or get lost in the maze of our choices. I think we have our path and destiny, but we are free to choose how to get there. OK, it’s complicated. Don’t look back and keep going! 😀

Topic #248: here’s how I decided to touch only 5 of the weekly digest topics. I wasn’t interested in elaborating on the others! 😉 OK, it’s still a short post… but you can hear me ramble tomorrow! About the birth of a story…

daily prompts

A mishmash as usual! The oldest being when is it acceptable to kill things/people/animals/plants/ideas/dreams? Answer: never. Not living beings, even less abstract nouns. Never ever kill your ideas or your dreams (or somebody else’s for that matter). And respect life in all its forms.

And about the movie vs.book version – for me it’s really a matter of what I get first, it’s what will shape the story for me, no matter what was made first.

The weekly photo challenge is “hot”, and because it’s hot indeed and my brain is fried, I’m posting a picture with the other meaning of hot. But as I don’t own the copyright of the picture, I won’t link back to the weekly prompt. So here’s my darn hot muse – I hate the photographer, but she takes wonderful pictures of him.

Keanu Reeves by Amanda De Cadenet

On a final note, I got the email for the next Blog Jog. It’s on a Sunday. Which means I won’t participate this year, as I’m already overwhelmed with entries at Six Sentence Sunday. Add to that that I didn’t see those hundreds of hits mentioned neither in the previous two blog jobs nor on Sundays, in spite of the over 150 participating authors. My most busy day is still a 170hits last year, and my record on SSS is around 60 visits. So I’m not really participating in a paid blog jog anymore, and will stick to the free one. If you want to sign up for either, though, links are provided! 🙂

Birthday Bash Blogfest

This is for JC’s Birthday Bash Blogfest – happy blogoversary, JC! 🙂

A lot can happen in a year…

You can decide to become an indie author in spite of the fact that an approaching menopause slows down your thoughts and processes. You can notice you went one step down in the staircase of life and know that you will have to adjust to it before you can keep going. You can be aware of time flying by and wonder what happened to those previous years that look so far away now – almost like another life. You can learn to live in the present, accept who you are or turn your life upside down. You can blog about life!

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