Random Friday


OK, another week is almost done, what can I say? I might be very self-centered this week, but even if I’m starting from my writing, I’m rambling about life at large. So, it’s about CVE3 again (can you tell I’m having a blast at rewriting something that is 20+years old?) – I got to the part at the end when the warrior woman has to choose between two men and I remembered what happened back then.

I saw a shrink from 1996 to 2002. Four years single therapy, four years group therapy, with two years (1998-1999) of both. When I was still doing the single, I gave him some of my stories to read – a graphic novel (The Prince and The Adventurer, I’ll reissue it sometime, but I need to scan and re-letter it) and CVE3, at the time known as Lost & Oliver from the names of the two main characters (I even have a L&O Another Version where they end up together, but I’m not going to publish that, LOL!).

At the time I was still the warrior woman, and he guessed who I was in that novel. And then he asked “Why did you choose X instead of Y?” (he was talking about the characters, no names to avoid spoilers, but he knew whom I identified with).

And I said “Why should I choose Y?”

“Because he’s the most powerful, the one who could have protected you.”

“That’s what I don’t like about him. I want him to be my equal, not superior. X is my equal, Y is not.”

Might be why I’m still single and I’m not too fond of those mushy romances with women swooning at alpha males? 😉

Anyway, I think he used the totally wrong therapy with me, because by the time I told him “I’ll be back when I have news” I was so sick of couples that even in my head I thought I could live without virtual lovers.

I went to him because I couldn’t understand the rest of the world. He understood it as “I’m unhappy because I don’t have a man” or something like that. But when one can’t interact with neither sexes, how can she find her significant other? And if you throw me into a group of abandoned lovers, how do you think I’ll feel?

the Muse's latest portrait

Dejected and disgusted by that fairy tale of the happily ever after, of course. I already knew Prince Charming didn’t exist, he just gave me the proof. So I stopped seeing him, and didn’t bother fitting in anymore – why bother when nobody was trying to fit in with me?

Now I have a spiritual teacher, but it’s not really improving my social interactions, I’m afraid. OK, I get less stressed and don’t try to understand why anymore, but I still don’t have much social interaction. I’ve been faithful to my virtual lover since 2001 (I call him my Muse, in case you were wondering…) while back in the 1990s – well that warrior woman had more than one man, because I liked them so much I needed to (virtually) try them all, LOL!

I’d rather stay in and write or draw than go out and socialize. “No life, no wife” so often repeated by Desi people (yeah, even the ones in Roma selling roses in the street! ;-)) makes me want to tell them “Speak for yourself, man! I’m a woman, I can live without a husband!”. I used to be so excited at weddings, now I snort or sigh and recycle the dress I wore at my brother’s wedding – also because I’ve seen many of those marriages fall apart through the years.

So there you have it, the rant about being single and VHEMT (hadn’t said that in a long time, LOL! Hema might remember I said it oh so long ago – haven’t changed my mind in that department! ;-)) you weren’t expecting! 😉 Now this compulsive writer is going back to writing… addiction or not, I better feed it. Mr Writing will pay my next hairdresser trip, but not much more yet! 😉

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2 Comments

  1. Well I managed to get married, but I met him back in high school when social interaction was forced 😉 As far as wanting to go out and meet pile of people and do tons of things… um, no. Not so much. he is also an introvert – I think this is part of why we gravitated to one another back in school – so it works well. it isn’t that i don’t like to go to things, i just don’t want to be hassled when I do. Like when I go to a store i HATE ones with helpful employees. Go away. i will look at my own pace and make up my own mind and find it on my own, thank you. This is why I prefer shopping at #AM. they are too busy stocking shelves to help you unless you ASK them to.

    As for VHEMT i am on the boat with you 😉 It’s not that i don’t like kids, I do, but I don’t want any. People have a hard time understanding this and i explain it as follows: I may think your hamster or your puppy is cute. I might even come to your house to play with it, but that doesn’t mean i want to run out and buy a hamster or a puppy. This often makes people mad. They also get mad when i roll my eyes at all the “i’m a Mommy so I am more important than anyone else” crap. Sorry, but Monkeys can have babies, it takes more than that to make a person “great”.

    And on relationships, if you’re happy then that’s what matters! 🙂 i never believed in fairytale romance so I just looked for a good friend, basically, which is what i ended up with and have been quite happy with. I get made fun of by younger women for this because of course as women we should be looking for passion and romance and glitter lights, but older women will nod and say “yes, i wish I had done that” LOL!

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    • Aaw, we must have been separated at birth! And pity we’re both females, or I’d have asked you to marry me (of course the fact that you’re already married doesn’t help either)! 😉
      Yeah, I agree with “helpful shopping assistants” and everything else you say – the VEHMT site has good answers to all those happy mommies who want you to breed like them, by the way. I printed it out, but then forgot about it – luckily I didn’t run into any more of those nosy boring people lately, LOL! 😀
      And that’s what I meant with the shrink – no need for that passion and romance, the hotter the passion, the faster it will burn out, leaving you with what? Exactly. That’s why I want someone to share things with, so we must have some common interests – and some completely different – so we can be friends first…
      My aunt married in her 60s, so it’s never too late anyway! 😉

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