creative barbwire (or the many lives of a creator)

February 9, 2010

why writing this blog

Filed under: the Human being — by Barb @ 9:00 am
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It’s been a quiet weekend, drawing (finished the pencils of chapter 2 of SKYBAND, that was the easy part, though) and musing. Who am I writing this for?

Not my friends, who either don’t speak English or are too busy living to actually read my blog. Not family members for the very same reason.  Spreading my pen-name? Maybe this is not the right way. Maybe I should just post short stories or write entries as characters from my novels. As online journal? I don’t really need that, I have my journals since the late 70s, neatly handwritten and religiously kept. 

Am I trying to get through the world? I’m not really one who screams for attention (in fact I hate being at the center of attention…). I don’t mind my imaginary friends (or characters from my story if you prefer). Maybe I’m trying to plant my roots somewhere. Still, my characters are outcasts nobody understand. Sounds familiar?

I don’t even know why I’m writing this post. Just a way of putting down thoughts, like I used to do in my Notebook Friend. I haven’t used it much lately… but my love for writing hasn’t stopped. It just seems I can’t write down all the fleeting thoughts that pass through my mind. Maybe I don’t have to.

“Up down like a yo-yo, life is just a gyddyap a gogo” (from an 80s song) – and such is my mood, swinging up and down like a yo-yo. Sometimes I feel too tired and too old to do anything, sometimes I just keep writing and don’t bother with the outcome.

I write for myself, but hope one day to write for the world.

Happiness is…

Filed under: Happiness is..., real world inspiration — by Barb @ 7:00 am
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February 7, 2010

blogging – part 2

Filed under: struggles to get through, the Human being — by Barb @ 9:00 am
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OK, I don’t know how I stumbled on this post. Probably tag-surfing again. Anyway, I went to download the e-book Blogging Blueprint and read it all (yes, Glen, thank you so very much for putting it out).

Now, that was a lesson. I’ll have to mull it over, though. Unfortunately, I’m not young and techno-savvy like Glen, thus it will take me longer to get it all. At 40+, being technophobe, the first impulse was to just close this down. Yes, it’s still the same week, and I’m still tired.

Luckily I’m not that rash anymore (thanks to the aging, I guess), so I will keep writing. I will slowly steering towards whatever it is that I want to accomplish with this blog – which I haven’t figured out yet. But when I do, I’ll follow Glen’s precious instructions – I might be “older”, but I still learn quickly if I put my mind to it.

So I’ll start by modifying what I have and think about what I can offer. I’m a writer, but I’m very bad at “teaching”. I can only write down my own personal experiences (which is what I’ve done so far), not trying to teach something to anybody, as I believe each learning curve is personal. I’m self-taught, how’s that for a CV…

Better go back making up my mind while I draw chapter 2 of SKYBAND (the good thing about drawing is it lets your mind free to wander and consider other options/ideas while creating something! ;-) ). I highly recommend Glen’s e-book to anyone who needs to improving his/her blog.  And I thank him again for putting it out there for us!

February 6, 2010

blogging

So, here’s another interesting question: why blog? What was I thinking when I started?

Well, not sure about  selling more books (also because I haven’t published a novel yet, nor submitted it to anybody), but certainly to have a web presence, to start socializing – which I’m not very good at in person, because I hate  spoken words.

After four months I’m not sure anymore on how to use this indeed powerful marketing tool. But I like tag surfing, erading other blogs and commenting on them.

I’m not so sure what this is about, me or my writing or what. Well, I guess it’s just an online journal – used to be private on Yahoo, is now public. Not that I have that many readers anyway.

I must stop bothering with blog stats. These things take time, I guess. As long as I enjoy writing it, I’ll keep doing it. I might be discontinued now, but I enjoy writing too much (I prefer handwriting, but I don’t mind the keyboard, as I tape with ten fingers! ;-) ) to quit altogether.

So we’ll see what happens this year. I might travel-blog or post my past travels, or do the characters blog or whatever. It’s the end of the week and I’m too tired to make any decision! :-)

February 5, 2010

improvising

Filed under: real world inspiration, struggles to get through, writing projects — by Barb @ 9:32 am
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As I don’t have anymore plans for this blog, I’ll follow what I find every day. So yesterday I had a look at Michelle Locke’s 10 ways to be a better writer.

Point 1 really struck a cord, I indeed have to make up my mind on what kind of writer I want to be. And I love telling stories, I love creating worlds, so I guess I’ll just go back to my genre writing/drawing and forget the moving image part for some time.

Although, as I avoid cliches, I’m not very marketable even within the genre, because I break the rules and cross genres. So it won’t be easy to find a publisher or agent or whatever. Even readers, how do I get to them? Unless I start writing this blog as my characters – which could be fun, one week form each character’s point of view, and on Sunday the brief bio and where he/she is from – what novel/graphic novel, I mean… mmm, interesting thought! :-)

As long as I keep writing (which I’ve been doing for over 30 years, even without readers, so I guess I’m compulsive in that!), have my moleskin in my bag for sudden ideas (and even sketches lately! I saw an interesting asian face on the bus and sketched it for future use! ;-) ), and I do have a notebook with all the titles of everything I’ve written.

I guess I’m a writer anyway, even if I never get to publish anything. I write because I love it, not because I want to write the next best seller! :-)

February 4, 2010

screenwriting

I wasn’t sure what to write today, but then I found this post on my tag surfer about selling screenplays from outside LA. Great post, he’s probably totally right. So, should I go back to my screenwriting career? Not so sure.

True that I still have to through my screenplays again and decide if they’re worth the effort of networking online, researching producers etc. The experiences I’ve had so far with the Screenwriting Expo, the Final Draft events and Virtual Pitch Fest weren’t that good.

Thing is – I prefer genre. I’m back into my own world, and until there’s a bestseller behind it, I don’t think I can sell screenplays. Sure, I can write some stories in the present, with present day issues, but my heart is not really into it, and I think it  shows in the writing.

So, wishing the best of luck to all my screenwriter friends out there (I know you’ll make it, guys! :-) ), I think I’m going back to prose. I’m a writer and a lone wolf. Maybe the movie industry is not for me. I’d love team work, but maybe I’m not good at it. I like watching movies, but maybe I’m not good at writing them. Yet.

Add to that that English is my second language, the screenwriting industry is highly competitive and I don’t know anybody to get in… unless I start stalking Mr Muccino until he introduces him to my muse-turned-producer… ;-)

Ok, enough joking. I don’t know what to do with my screenplays yet, but maybe it’s only February and the Nicholl Fellowship is probably open (haven’t checked yet), so I should give it one last try… I’ll have to seriously think about it! :-)

February 3, 2010

reading R.E.Howard

Filed under: heroic fantasy, reading, sword & sorcery — by Barb @ 9:00 am
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I found this collection of short stories by Howard (Conan’s “daddy”) under the title of Bran Mak Morn as it puts together all the stories where the Picts have some appearance (the title is from their king’s name according to Howard).

So I’m reading these heroic fantasy tale, or better, epic fantasy tales and think “Geez, it shows the writer died young!”. Or maybe I’m too old (and a woman) to appreciate all those big brainless barbarians fighting monsters and sorcerers. Ah, they had a brain? Sorry, didn’t notice.

All those epic sentences and speeches make me smile. Instead of being involved, I think it’s funny. Am I too old for epics? I read the Iliad and the Odissey (children’s version) as a child, know most fairy tales and even some less known, but maybe that’s the problem, I overdosed with epic. Am I getting old? Sigh…

I have all the 80s movies based on Howard’s characters (and a couple of Conan comic book issues), but reading them… I really feel like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon – maybe I’m too old for that stuff.

Oh, well, not everybody can love the “classics”, right? ;-)

February 2, 2010

beta-reader wanted

Filed under: heroic fantasy, sword & sorcery, writing projects — by Barb @ 9:00 am
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After spending last afternoon giving the final touches, it’s official, I need a new beta-reader for “Air”. So if you happen to love adventure fantasy, are sick of heroes journeys, quests and companies of the ring, you can book this journey to Silvery Earth.

Winged beings, water people, shape-shifting dragons and elf-like people have to deal with Humans all too eager to destroy them out of fear, ignoring they’d lose the magic of their world as well.

Winged Jesminder, a Sila (Air people), looks for her Destiny (or love) as much as her Human friend Sarita the sculptor. Takeshi the soldier runs away from his country for a murder he doesn’t remember, looking for his past, while Kumar the adventurer runs away from his past – and his wife, Princess Indira, whom he has saved from evil for money.

Their paths shall meet and lead to the final confrontation with the Black Dame, who is also Takeshi’s sister and Kumar’s childhood friend. None of them is out to save the world, their quests are personal and even the Black Dame is driven by love, albeit badly twisted by a dark power.

So, if you’d like to apply, please leave a comment below, thank you…

February 1, 2010

Happiness is…

Filed under: Happiness is..., real world inspiration — by Barb @ 7:00 am
Tags: , ,

January 31, 2010

short story

Filed under: fiction — by Barb @ 9:00 am
Tags: ,

STARBLAZER

Bertha Anne stared in disbelief at the winged being at her feet. It was a young man with large black wings; he wore strange, close fitting clothes and boots that wouldn’t last a day on the road.

Bertha Anne remembered to breathe, put down her basket and went closer to examine him. He had short black hair and seemed unconscious. He was breathing, somewhat irregularly, therefore he was alive.

Bertha Anne tried to restore one big wing back in place. She didn’t know much about birds and wings, but this one seemed broken in many places. No wonder the creature had fallen from the sky.

He moaned when she tried to restore both wings: the left one seemed almost fine, but the right one remained at an awkward angle. Bertha Anne sighed, wondering how she could help the magic creature.

He opened his eyes and started as if he wanted to fly away, but fell back on his face with a moan of pain. Some black feathers joined with the leaves on the ground.

“Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you,” she said. “I think your wings are broken.”

He didn’t reply, apparently exhausted from pain.

“I’ll try to fix them,” she decided. “Don’t move.”

She picked up the basket and ran back to the house.

The winged young man took his right ankle in his hand and with a wince cured the sprained part. Then he grabbed the left wing, doing the same with even greater pain. He was too exhausted to work on the right wing when Bertha Anne came back with some straps and bandages.

“I’ll have to hurt you a little, but this wing must be held still”, she said. She pushed the wing back in place, trying to ignore the single scream of pain from the creature, and proceeded to bandage the broken limb.

“It’s going to rain soon, will you come to a covered place?” she suggested.

He nodded, his eyes closed. He seemed weak and in pain, but he managed to stand up and follow her to her little timber house by the forest.

She made him sit at the table and gave him some water. He drank gratefully, but refused any food.

“Do you speak?” she wondered.

“Yes,” he said. “Thank you.” His eyelids seemed too heavy for him.

“Maybe you need rest,” she decided. “Do you want to sleep by the fire?”

“I’m not cold,” he said.

She guided him to the spare bed and helped him to lie down on his stomach. He fell asleep almost immediately. She brushed his forehead, but couldn’t tell if he had a temperature. Well, he’s not Human anyway, she thought.

“Bertha!”

Oh, Gods, Morvan was back. She ran to him, hushing him down.

“What?” he protested with a smile.

“Come and see,” she whispered, taking his hand.

Her husband opened his mouth in front of the sleeping winged creature, but said nothing at first.

“Where did you find him?” he asked at last.

“In the woods, just behind the house.”

“I’ve never seen one before! Has it been shot down or something?”

“No, he doesn’t have any wounds.”

“How do you know it’s a ‘he’? You checked under his clothes?”

“No breasts, darling. And I couldn’t figure out how to take off those weird clothes.”

The winged young man opened his eyes.

“Hello, this is my husband, Morvan,” Bertha Anne said.

“Nice meeting you,” Morvan said. “What’s his name?”

“He hasn’t told me yet,” she answered.

“Winged Kalino,” the winged creature said. “I’m a Sila.”

“You’re welcome, Winged Kalino,” Morvan smiled.

“I think we should call Lenore,” Bertha Anne said. “Maybe she can cure him.”

“Right, she’s a witch. I’ll get her,” Morvan decided.

“Get back to sleep,” Bertha Anne told the winged one. “We’ll see if we can find a healer for you.”

The winged young man fell back to sleep. He must have been exhausted. Bertha Anne sighed and decided to start cooking lunch.

***

Lenore was a young witch, but no less powerful. The village respected her since she could really cure, or punish if ill-treated. She was fun too, and knew lots of stories for the long winter evenings. But she was also unpredictable; you could never be sure of finding her in the little cabin in the woods.

Morvan felt lucky when he saw her standing by her door as if waiting for him. She was beautiful in a strange way, and Morvan had always been intimidated by her presence.

He didn’t have to say anything, though. She just followed him to his house of timber, where Bertha Anne’s fine cooking was filling the air.

Lenore didn’t smile when she saw the winged creature lying on the bed. She went to him, and woke him with a light touch on his head. He didn’t look surprised, nor scared, as if he knew exactly who he was dealing with.

“What happened, that you can’t cure yourself?” Lenore frowned.

“I did half the job and lacked the strength to finish it,” he replied.

“I bandaged his broken wing to help it heal,” Bertha Anne offered, shyly.

“I can see that,” Lenore said. “But we don’t need all this stuff, do we, Sila?”

She took off the straps and bandages. She touched the black wing carefully until it resumed its natural shape. Winged Kalino did his best not to moan in the process.

“Have you eaten?” Lenore asked.

“You know I don’t eat earth’s food,” he replied.

“I’ll get some,” she decided. “This fever of yours is not normal. What happened?”

“A powerful spell took us down. Some dark force I have never met before…”

“Dark magic.”

“Maybe. It was evil, violent, painful…”

“How many were taken down?”

“Two of us.” Winged Kalino seemed on the edge of tears. “Me and my Destined. I don’t know what happened exactly, we were suddenly separated; I felt my heart torn to pieces and…”

“And your Destined is gone.” Lenore stood up. “I’ll get you some food. Air wants you to live, or you wouldn’t be here.”

“Fine,” he whispered. Lenore left, followed by the puzzled stare of Bertha Anne and Morvan. Winged Kalino pulled himself up to a seated position, but his head hung down as if he was too tired to keep it upright.

“Well, our witch is a little blunt, but she’s good,” Morvan said, embarrassed.

“I know, she’s not Human,” the Sila replied.

“She’s not?” Bertha Anne wondered. “Is she a shape changer?”

“If she wants to be,” he admitted.

“Where were you hit?” Morvan inquired, worried. “If there’s danger there, maybe we should tell the king!”

“It was probably one of your shamans,” Angelo Kalino frowned. “Maybe he was practicing his magic on behalf of your king.”

“You’re sure it wasn’t Lenore?” Morvan insisted. “The witch that just went out looking for your food,” he explained, seeing the creature’s blank stare.

“I know the nature of her magic,” the winged being replied. “This is different.”

“You’re saying Lenore is of a Magical Race?” Bertha Anne asked, curious.

Winged Kalino nodded and Morvan sighed.

“Our king doesn’t trust the Magical Races,” he said.

“Magical Races hate violence, the Blackmore king loves it. That’s why he fights those who live on the ground,” Winged Kalino explained.

Lenore came back with a handful of strange food that looked like spun sugar.

“Thank you,” Winged Kalino said.

“Lenore, he told us about you…” Morvan was uneasy. “Is ‘Lenore’ your real name anyway?”

“You’ll never know her real name,” Winged Kalino smiled for the first time, though only with his mouth. “There’s too much power in it.”

“You’re talking too much, you silly winged creature,” Lenore snapped. “Now I’ll have to leave this place!”

“Won’t you come with me to investigate the evil dark magic?”

“What for? Your Destined is gone, and a sorcerer is pretty much useless!”

“Maybe compared to you! But he took my Destined, maybe we can do something about it…”

“Well you’ve certainly made my life here difficult! I’ll go with you, but I don’t think there is much we can do!”

Bertha Anne couldn’t take her eyes from the winged one’s food.

“Where does it come from?” she dared to ask.

“The clouds,” Winged Kalino answered.

“How did you get it, Lenore, did you spread wings?” Morvan wondered.

“I told you she’s not Human,” the Sila said. Lenore smiled to her Human friends.

“I’m leaving anyway, so I guess I can tell you who I really am,” she decided.

“A full grown Fajrulo female,” Winged Kalino added.

“Will you shut up?” she snapped. “I’m telling the story now!”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re not. You hate us all for saving you! So you’re doing your best to make us mad at you, so we’d finish the job and let you join your Destined! But I’m telling you, Sila, this won’t happen!”

“My name is Winged Kalino, Fajrulo! I should have met one of your males…”

“Well, you haven’t! I’m here, and I’m taking care of you, now shut up!”

Winged Kalino had finished his food. He raised his hands in surrender, and embraced his knees, putting his head on them and closing his eyes.

Lenore calmed down and turned back to her friends who were staring open mouthed at both creatures.

“Okay, he said it, I’m not Human, but Fajrulo. Fajrulo are the most powerful of the Magical Races, but also the fewest. We don’t couple very often, and aren’t very sociable among ourselves. We live longer than anybody else, so we don’t think we need reproduction.”

“What is your real appearance?” Morvan asked.

“Dragon form is our natural appearance. But we spend most of our lives in other forms.”

“Shape changers,” Bertha Anne whispered.

“Yes, you could say that,” Lenore admitted. “My Fajrulo name is Starblazer.”

“Not your real name, though,” Morvan observed.

“No,” she smiled, then turned to Winged Kalino. “Are you ready? How much longer do you need?”

The Sila opened his eyes, untangled himself and stood up.

“I’m ready,” he said in a subdued tone.

“Good, let’s go. It was nice staying with you people these past ten years, but I have to move on,” Lenore told Morvan and Bertha Anne. “Tell the villagers I’ll miss them all.”

“Will you come back when your mission is done?” Bertha Anne asked.

“I don’t think so. Not in this form anyway. It’s not safe anymore.”

“We won’t tell your secret” Morvan promised.

“In that case… I’ll think about it.” Lenore smiled.

“Never trust a Fajrulo,” Winged Kalino advised.

“Shut up and get your pretty ass out of here,” Lenore retorted. “Bye!”

Morvan and Bertha Anne didn’t dare follow the creatures outside the house. They took each other’s hand, still in wonder for the strange meeting.

“Oh, Gods, I’m burning our lunch!” Bertha Anne exclaimed. Suddenly they were back in their normal life of woodcutter and wife. But they knew, now, they had been blessed by members of two Magical Races that most people would never ever meet.

***

Outside the house of the woodcutter, Lenore spread two big brown wings, the color of her long hair. She also changed her clothes into a tight fitting outfit with a simple thought, as her long dress would have been uncomfortable during the flight.

Winged Kalino merely waited the few seconds necessary for the transformation, then he opened his wings and soon both were airborne.

“There aren’t that many really powerful sorcerers in the Blackmore kingdom, but tell me more about the spell that took you down,” Lenore said.

“We saw a young one, lost and crying,” Winged Kalino replied. “He seemed hurt, and unable to fly, so we got closer and something hit us. I was sent back in the air and my wings carried me for a while, then I fell and broke them.”

“Mmm, an illusion and a magic bolt,” Lenore mused. “And we’re flying towards Shania’s shelter.”

“Do you know her?”

“She’s quite powerful for a Human. She’s trying to impress Prince Edwyn, hoping he’ll take her to his court in Xendaria when he becomes king.”

“Do you think she’ll succeed?”

“Very likely, especially if she presents him with a pair of huge wings.”

“She wouldn’t dare!”

“Why do you think she took you down?”

Winged Kalino opened his mouth, then closed it, speechless with horror. He’d never understand the earth people, and not only because of their wicked magic.

Suddenly something far away on the tree covered ground attracted his attention. Breathless, he dived towards what to Lenore’s eyes seemed only a faint color in the green.

“Damn Sila and his sharp eyes,” she grumbled, following him to the ground.

In a clearing among tall trees, a beautiful girl seemed to be asleep in the grass. She wore the tight fitting clothing of the Sila, but was missing the wings. Winged Kalino rushed to her, while Lenore wondered.

“Raziela!” he called, desperately. “Blessed winds, what have they done? Raziela, answer me!”

“Is this your Destined?” Lenore asked. He didn’t even hear the question, but the answer was obvious, so she didn’t persist. There she was, wingless, dying… “Damned Humans.”

Lenore’s wings disappeared and her former dress came back. She walked quickly out of the clearing, to a cave she knew was nearby. She stopped in front of the opening with her fists on her hips.

“Shania!” she called.

“What do you want?” The voice came from nowhere.

“Come out and talk to me!” Lenore ordered.

“You come in, if you dare,” came the disembodied answer.

“Damned Humans,” Lenore repeated to herself, stomping fearlessly into the cave. She found what she more or less expected: herbs, stones, smoke, a cauldron, other Human utilities and paraphernalia. And a pair of wings, obviously Raziela’s, as they were the same shade of the beautiful girl’s hair. She couldn’t see the witch, though. Maybe there was another room.

“I’m in,” she announced. “Are you afraid of me? You should be, I’m not a harmless Sila…”

A magic bolt hit her shield. She had been expecting it, though, so she quickly analyzed the spell: Dark Magic, definitely. The magic forbidden to her and her like. She could barely stand the power behind the woman she knew was hiding somewhere.

“As I said, you cannot hurt me,” she began again, feeling anger rising inside her. “Show yourself, you cowardly little witch!”

“I am a shaman of Mother Earth.” This time the voice was closer and more real. “And you are not Human.”

“You’re smart, but this won’t save you if you don’t show yourself now. I’m going to burn your place to the ground!”

“Fire creature.” The woman appeared suddenly by the cauldron, where her voice had come from. She was beautiful in her own way, but dirty, and dressed in rags.

“Nice trick,” Lenore said.

“Invisibility coat,” Shania said, modestly. “You don’t waste your powers with this, do you?”

“I can change shape, what need do I have to become invisible?”

“Change shape,” Shania murmured. “Very interesting.”

“I bet you have never seen a young Sila. How could you create the illusion to lure them?” Lenore inquired.

“I can see many things,” Shania replied. “In here.” She pointed at the cauldron. “But not your real face.”

“My real shape wouldn’t fit into this tiny little cave,” Lenore assured, sarcastically. “Anyway, what’s with you? Why did you take those wings?”

“They are a present for my prince.”

“I doubt he’ll ever see them. If the owner dies, you lose your gift.”

“Then cure her, she’s not far…”

“I know where she is, her beloved is with her. And I’ve already helped him.”

“Oh, yes, the male. Interesting black wings…”

“Interesting, but forbidden, even for your stupid religion. You consider him a demon, don’t you?”

“No, I know what real demons look like, and he’s very attractive.”

“He’s mine.”

“You should have kept him away from here, then.”

“You are damn sure of yourself, aren’t you? You’re a complete sorceress, not a damn shaman! What did it cost you to get all that power?”

“The life of my most loved one.”

“Interesting you sacrificed a life to gain power!”

“Yes, and my prince will soon know. After I try the Sila.”

“You won’t touch the Sila, unless you want to fight me.”

“In here I can do anything. You don’t scare me, fire creature.”

Lenore morphed into a dragon, a very small one. Just the shape, not the size.

“I can breathe fire even when I’m that small. Or ice, if you prefer. Don’t try me, this is my real face, but not my real size,” she threatened. “Be warned that I’m the one who destroyed the Sect that dwelt near another Pond of Dark Magic in what is now known as the desert of the south. I annihilated their underground town and a whole kingdom, so don’t think this place can shelter you from my wrath.”

Shania paled in front of the claws and fangs, feeling the fire burning in the creature.

“You are Starblazer, the wrathful dragon that destroyed Arquon a little more than a century ago!”

“You bet I am. And I’ve seen another High Priestess of Darkness die, so don’t think yourself invulnerable.”

“All right, I’ll leave the Sila alone.”

Lenore reverted to Human form.

“Good. Can you read the future, Shania?”

“Not really. I’m better with other powerful spells, that even the Genn couldn’t stop. That’s all my lord needs.”

“Yes, I’ve seen the destructive power of your spells. Why use them on harmless Sila, though?”

“They’re the eyes of the Varian king. He has one at his court, and I want to be able to take him down when needed.”

“So you can have him instead of Winged Kalino? Winged Morgan has black wings too…”

“Maybe. I can ask for him as a prize when we win the war against the Varians.”

“Let me tell you something, you silly little Human. I’m very good at reading the future, and I can see all of your life. You will become Edwyn’s queen, you’ll serve him faithfully in his war against the Varians and the Genn, and you’ll have what you want. But hear this: you will also die by the hand of the son of the Sila you fear so much now. Keep doing your exercises, keep using your illusions and magic bolts and evil powers. This won’t save you when your time comes.”

Lenore saw the wings on the wall behind Shania slowly dissolve.

“Damn!” she concluded. “I’ve got to go. See you in your next life, witch!”

She stormed out of the cave, furious. She ran back to the clearing to find Winged Kalino lying on the grass, unconscious. She touched his forehead: it was burning again. The Fever of Loss.

She morphed into Winged Raziela and took him high up in the sky, and over some huge white clouds. She contemplated him for a few moments, brushing his hair and cheek. Suddenly she kissed him, unzipping his clothes and exploring his hairless body.

Winged Kalino woke up, saw her, opened his mouth in awe, but she closed it before he could speak. They made love on their bed of clouds, Winged Kalino still burning with fever.

“Winged Raziela,” he whispered, exhausted.

“I’m dead,” she answered. “And this is just a beautiful dream.”

“No…” he drifted into sleep, desperate.

Lenore changed back to her winged Human form and sighed. She dressed him and waited for him to wake up again. His sleep wasn’t peaceful: maybe he was re-living the death of his Destined. They certainly had no way to defend themselves. Poor Sila. So beautiful and harmless…

***

She was weak. She could barely open her eyes.

“Raziela,” he pleaded. “Stay with me!”

“I can’t… fly anymore…” She grew weaker and weaker.

“Raziela, don’t leave!” he insisted out of desperation. He was crying openly, but his tears couldn’t keep her alive. She had lost her wings, her purpose, her life.

“Forgive me,” she whispered with her last breath. Then she was still. Slowly her body dissolved, leaving him empty handed.

He found it hard to breathe. He felt as if fire was burning him. He tried to scream, but his voice wouldn’t come out. He fainted.

He woke up in the arms of Winged Raziela. He felt weak, but she was so beautiful… He made love to her.

“You’re dreaming,” she whispered.

“Don’t leave me!” he pleaded.

“I’m already gone, beloved,” she replied. “But you are still alive.”

“No!” he moaned. Pain, fear, horror. The fever seemed to consume him. Then a fresh wind took away the heat. He slowly relaxed, exhausted.

Winged Kalino woke up feeling empty. He saw the Fajrulo by his side and sighed.

“What happened? I can’t remember much,” he asked.

“We found your Destined, too late,” she answered. “I talked to the sorceress, she won’t get very far. I think you should go back to your Nest. Which one is it?”

“The Nest over the Valley. Lenore, I thought I saw Raziela…”

“She’s dead. Your heart already told you. You felt it torn to pieces, remember?”

“Yes, but… I made love to her and it felt so real…”

“Only a dream, my darling,” she assured with a smile. “Come on, show me where your Nest is.”

With a last sigh, Winged Kalino spread his wings. His Destined was gone, but Air wanted him to live. Maybe another Destiny was waiting for him at the Nest.

Lenore followed him in silence, a mysterious smile on her lips.

***

The Varian court was reunited in the walled stone castle the Varian kings had built at the beginning of the war, after the previous timber keep had been burned to ashes by the Blackmore raiders.

Among the bearded Human warriors stood a couple of blond, androgynous beings with pointed ears, and a young Sila, close to the king himself and only mildly interested in the war plans discussed loudly at the table. The two old but still beautiful Genn exchanged glances and sighs and shrugs from time to time, while the young Sila’s keen eyes tended to wander to everybody’s face, even the furthest servant at the other side of the great hall.

The discussion between the king and his generals was animated, still silence fell when a woman appeared on the great hall’s door. She stood there with a baby in her arms until everybody shut up to stare at her in wonder.

“Talk about a theatrical entrance,” the eldest Genn smiled at her. “What can we do for you?”

“Who is that woman?” the Varian king demanded.

“I am Lenore and I want to speak to the Sila, Winged Morgan,” she replied with a smile.

Winged Morgan looked even more stunned than his Human companions.

“What do you want from me?” he inquired, puzzled.

She moved two steps forward.

“Do you want me to tell in front of everybody?”

“I have no secrets.”

“Of course not,” she smiled again, moved forward, stopping not too far from the king’s table. All men noticed her beauty.

“Woman, are you married?” the king inquired.

“You don’t want to marry her, your majesty” the other Genn counselor suggested with a brief smile.

“Why not?” protested the king.

“You have three wives already, I believe it’s enough” Lenore sounded amused. She turned to the Sila. “Winged Morgan, do you know Winged Kalino?”

Winged Morgan stared at her, suspicious.

“He is my brother, Fajrulo, what do you want from him?”

“He is not at his Nest, and I was wondering if you knew where he is.”

“He has lost his Destined and is flying the world in search of peace.”

She snorted.

“Well, as he is your brother, I believe he will come back here sooner or later.”

She covered the few steps remaining, and put the baby on the table, in front of the puzzled king: a tiny bundle with deep black eyes and a quietness and wisdom unusual for such a small child. Everybody stared at him in wonder and suspicion.

“This is Winged Kyler Darklight, Winged Kalino’s son,” Lenore announced. “I’m sure you will take care of him.”

All looked shocked, including the members of the Magical Races.

“Lenore, you didn’t!” the elder Genn protested.

“It saved his life,” she replied.

New respect shone on Winged Morgan’s youthful face.

“You were with him when he lost his Destined?”

“I was.”

“And why did you do it?” Winged Morgan’s voice softened as he looked into the baby’s black eyes.

“I never had a Sila before,” she smiled.

“What are you?” the king found his voice to ask, staring at her in sudden awe.

“Fajrulo,” Winged Morgan whispered, taking the quiet, smiling baby in his arms. “I will keep Kyler until Kalino returns,” he promised.

Lenore smiled and bowed, leaving in the renewed silence.

The king turned to the two Genn and Winged Morgan.

“How could you tell she wasn’t Human?”

“We feel the other Magical Races’ blood,” replied the younger Genn. “Fajrulo are shape shifters, but we can see through their disguises.”

The baby rid himself of the cover, freeing his torso and waving his little arms around, still held under the armpits by a puzzled Winged Morgan. Suddenly a couple of little black wings sprouted from his back, flapping happily as if he wanted to fly away from Winged Morgan’s grasp.

The Sila laughed, the Genn smiled, the Humans were out of breath again.

“Welcome to the Varian court, Winged Kyler!”

Winged Morgan let him go for a short flight over their heads, then the baby glided into his arms and nested there. The wings disappeared and he closed his eyes, falling peacefully asleep.

“A potentially very powerful half blood,” the elder Genn commented, amused.

“Could he help me to win the war?” the king asked.

“Who knows. Maybe…”



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